What Is a Live In Nanny Called?
The term live in nanny is straightforward on the surface. But is it always that simple? Not quite.
Families searching for in home childcare often come across other terms. One of the most common is au pair. So what’s the difference? Are they the same with different names? Or do the titles carry real meaning, expectations, and even legal implications?
Let’s take a closer look at how these roles compare. Because understanding the distinction is more than just a vocabulary lesson. It’s key to choosing the right care for your family.
The Live In Nanny: Who Are They Really?
A live in nanny is exactly what the name suggests. A childcare professional who lives with the family they work for. But the story doesn’t end there.
This role typically involves full time hours and long term commitment. Nannies are usually trained in early childhood development or have significant hands on experience. Many work independently, manage routines, and handle everything from school runs to meal prep to developmental play.
They’re not just babysitters with a bedroom. They’re central to the rhythm of a household.
What About an Au Pair?
Here’s where it gets interesting. An au pair also lives with a host family and provides childcare. But the motivation and structure behind the role are very different.
Au pairs are often young adults from other countries participating in a cultural exchange. They usually arrive on a specific visa, follow set program rules, and have limits on how many hours they can work per week.
They’re not employees in the traditional sense. They’re guests, temporary members of the family who provide support in exchange for room, board, and a weekly stipend.
So What’s the Real Difference?
At a glance, both roles might seem interchangeable. But once you look closer, several key differences emerge. And these differences matter, not just in terms of care, but in terms of legality, cost, expectations, and compatibility with your family’s lifestyle.
Let’s break down the most critical distinctions.
Legal Status and Work Hours
Nannies are considered employees. This means families must follow labor laws, provide contracts, withhold taxes, and ensure minimum wage compliance.
Live in nannies may work anywhere from 40 to 60 hours a week, sometimes more. They’re often on call in emergencies and may stay with children overnight when parents travel.
Au pairs by contrast are participants in a regulated cultural exchange program. In the United States for example, au pairs are limited to 45 hours a week, no more than 10 hours per day. Families cannot legally treat them like full time employees.
This one factor alone draws a clear line between the two roles.
Age and Experience Level
Most au pairs are between 18 and 26 years old. They tend to be energetic, adventurous, and curious. While many have babysitting experience, few come with formal childcare training.
Nannies often bring years of hands on experience. Some hold certifications in child development, CPR, or Montessori methods. Many have worked with families for years and can handle multiple children, special needs, or newborn care.
Looking for help with a toddler and a newborn while you return to a demanding job? You’ll want a nanny. Need a fun, flexible big sister figure who can support school aged kids part time? An au pair might fit better.
Motivation and Mindset
This is where things get more nuanced.
Nannies often view childcare as a profession. They are career focused, skilled, and financially motivated. They may stay with a family for years and become deeply woven into the family dynamic.
Au pairs on the other hand typically seek cultural exchange. They want to improve their language skills, explore a new country, and experience family life abroad. While they are expected to be responsible and caring, their focus isn’t purely on work.
Does this mean one is better than the other? Not at all. It just means they bring different energy and intentions into your home.
Cost Structure
Families often assume au pairs are cheaper and in many cases, they are. But there’s more to the story than just the weekly stipend.
Hiring an au pair through an agency involves upfront fees, travel costs, health insurance, and room and board. The stipend might be modest, but the full package adds up quickly.
Nannies especially experienced ones command higher salaries. You also need to budget for employment taxes, benefits, and potentially room and board if they live in.
So which costs more in the long run? That depends on the level of support you need and how long you plan to keep them.
Integration into Family Life
Both au pairs and live in nannies live under your roof. But how they fit into the family is often quite different.
Au pairs are intended to be part of the family. They often join in family meals, go on vacations, and are treated more like a big sibling than an employee.
Live in nannies tend to keep clearer boundaries. They may eat separately, spend time off in private quarters, and maintain more professional space from family life.
Ask yourself, do you want a peer like presence immersed in your day to day, or a trained professional who steps in and out of family moments with structure?
Cultural and Language Exchange
One of the biggest perks of hosting an au pair is cultural exchange. Your children are exposed to new languages, traditions, and perspectives in an organic way.
Want your toddler to hear French spoken daily or learn about life in Sweden firsthand? An au pair opens that door.
Nannies may also come from diverse backgrounds, but cultural exchange is not part of their official role. Their focus is care first, culture second.
So What Do You Actually Call a Live In Nanny?
Here’s the answer. A live in nanny is still called a live in nanny. It’s not a watered down version of an au pair or a fancy title for a babysitter. It’s a professional role with its own standards.
An au pair is not a nanny. They may perform some similar tasks, but the framework, purpose, and rules are entirely different.
If you’re hiring someone as an employee to live in and care for your kids long term, you’re looking for a live in nanny.
If you’re hosting a young international visitor for a year who will help with the children part time, you’re hosting an au pair.
Simple words. Big difference.
Which One Is Right for Your Family?
This is where things get personal. There’s no universal right answer, only what fits your lifestyle, values, and needs.
Do you work demanding hours and need reliable full time care from someone with deep experience? Choose a nanny.
Do you value cultural exposure, want flexible support, and are open to a short term arrangement with someone younger? Go with an au pair.
One is not more valuable than the other. But the misalignment of expectations can lead to disappointment. Choosing well means understanding these roles for what they are, not just what they’re called.
Final Thoughts: Choose With Clarity Not Confusion
Families often start their search thinking they just need someone good with kids. But the reality is more complex. When someone moves into your home, the dynamics change completely.
Think about your own needs as much as your child’s. Think about the energy you want in your space, the level of professionalism required, and your comfort with sharing your home.
And whatever you do, don’t treat au pair and nanny as interchangeable. They’re not.
Understanding that might just be the difference between a stressful arrangement and a life changing one.